FMA Ficlet Tales
by HFA
Summary: Beware the yaoi fluff, angst and humor.
1. Flowers

Just for starters let me say that none of these ficlets will probably be connected to one another and if they are it will be marked somewhere to show it. They are just for fun and not all of them have been fully edited. There are mistakes and I know. Generally I will fix them but if I don't it's not going to keep me up at night.

Length will vary and so will pairings. I'll put the pairings up by the top with the author's notes like this.

Most of the pairings will be yaoi! It will be rated M for things that might be included later from violence to maybe some smut. Feel free to give me some ideas! These little ficlets are also posted, for the most part, on my Gaia Online Jounal (Hell.Fallen.Alchemist that be me).

Please leave a review and make any suggestions there but if it's a little more private then e-mail

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**1. Flowers RoyEd**

"Hi mom." Hands buried in the pockets of his usual leather trousers Edward Elric looked down at the grave that bore his mother's name. The grey stone was one of many in the grassy cemetery of his home town. He was alone this time, not even Den was with him.

It was not an uncommon practice for Edward to come to his mother's grave. Speaking to it as if it were his mother with a caring ear willing to hear anything that her son might need to lift off of his shoulders before they crushed him. Trisha Elric had been an excellent mother while she was alive leaving her sons with memories of her that they cherished still referring to the woman affectionately by that title. Mother.

Able to conjure memories of the woman with ease it made it not so difficult to imagine the stone he sat beside might have been the woman herself. Simple dress and apron, hair pulled back to keep it out of her way. Baskets of laundry or groceries balanced on her hip. The gentle look in those green eyes, the soft smile. A mother's affection that had made the boys so desperate to get her back.

"I finally did it mom. Al's got his body back and me I just have my automail arm now. Can't be the Fullmetal Alchemist without automail now can I?" Managing a weak laugh he looked down at the gloved hands knowing one was flesh and blood while the other was wires and steel. "Not only that but the war is over. Things are changing. Guess you could say our luck, even the state's luck has changed." Pulling his gloves off he fiddled with them not looking up like he might were his mother watching him obviously struggling with words he was debating how to share.

A soft breeze made the long blonde bangs flutter and the fingers of his gloves sway as well. It was a little cool but that could be due to the fact the sun was setting. It was really a beautiful sight. The hills covered in the bleeding shades of the sky as the sun headed to greet the rest of the world, was made a little heart wrenching by the graves dotting the hills evenly.

Waiting another moment lifting his head not looking at the mark to the grave he managed a weak smile. No longer playing with his gloves he decided just to come out with it. "You know how you used to like it when father would transmute flowers for you?" Using the term father only because it would hurt his mother should she hear him speak about him so harshly when it was to her. It would break his mother's heart again. "You said you loved it when he would do that. I finally found someone to make them for."

That was actually saying something. Edward never thought he'd ever do such a thing (not just because the bastard did it). It was an act of love and affection in his eyes they you only would do for someone you cared for. Not just anyone. Maybe something he'd just considered doing for the one or family.

If Trisha could have smiled at him there was no doubt in her son's mind she would have been beaming and asking all about who this one was. Who had finally wrangled her eldest son's heart.

"He's waiting for me back at the Rockbell place." Pulling his knees up he rested his arms around them but not to offer himself comfort for once. "Yeah it's another man. I didn't see it coming either. He's a good man though. He helped me and Al after all, plus he's going to be Fuhrer soon. Helped to stop the Fuhrer before from keeping the country at war. Wants to save everyone though the stubborn bastard he is." The fondness in his voice betrayed any sting the words might have had.

Bastard was an odd pet name but Ed didn't do sickeningly sweet.

"I think..he does me justice mom. Al loves him like another brother. Roy, that's him, he looks out for us. Sure we've all seen our share of terrible things but that makes us a good match. I need someone who can understand. Roy can better than a lot of people." Shifting as the sun sunk lower he smiled to himself at the thought. "I made a promise to him, that I'd help him. I'm going to mom. Besides I can't let that idiot out of my sight long before he sets something on fire. He's a flame alchemist but don't worry he's almost as good as me."

Grinning broadly looking back to the headstone he tucked his gloves into one of his pockets. "I should head back now but first.." Getting onto his knees he clapped his hands together and laid them against the grass before the grey stone and it wasn't long before tulips began to grow then bloom from the soil. White tulips. A boy could dote on his mother and alchemy always had made her happy. As an after thought Ed made a red one amidst the group of white making it stand out strongly.

Though the blonde said he had to be going he stood looking down at the grave sadly. Mourning the mistake he'd made again for his brother and mother. The sun was still sinking slower the dark curtain of night pushing through some of the color of the sky.

The steps coming up behind him he didn't even hear but the arms around him brought him out of his daze. Gold eyes looking up to see the pale and smooth face of his lover. Smiling faintly Edward leant back into the taller man taking the warmth his body offered gratefully. Before the Mustang could get a word out a flower was held in front of his face by the boy's flesh hand. Taking it gently in his gloved fingers Roy looked down at the yellow tulip and chuckled.

"Thank you but do you know what it means?" Still holding the flower carefully in his fingers as his arm settled back around the smaller frame he could feel the other nod against his chest.

"It means I like you bastard." Was the muttered reply though the smirk he wore was worthy of the Flame Alchemist.

Shaking his head in amusement making the slightly shaggy ebony locks sway, the equally dark eyes looked down at the grave and had to admit the blonde was a genius. He knew what the flowers meant even if his slightly niave lover didn't. White tulips were for forgiveness. The red showed a declaration of love, for his mother in this case.

"Close. A yellow tulip signifies that someone is hopelessly in love.."

At Roy's words Ed just smiled feeling his cheeks heat.


	2. Story

**2. Story RoyEd**

It came as a great surprise to Edward Elric to discover his boyfriend was actually quite fond of children. One in particular Roy had doted upon for a long while quietly. Elysia Hughes.

As it stood to reason he tried to do more for the adorable little girl as she lacked the guidance that her father would have given her. Though sometimes he hardly got to see little Elysia the reaction of them both tended to be the same when they each other. Elysia would come running at the sight of the dark haired man walking from one of the house windows or at the sound of his voice. When she could get close enough to see Roy a smile would break onto her face and she'd run into the open arms that were waiting for her to be lifted up by the usually reserved man. Hugs and giggles would ensue of course.

Tonight Roy was looking after the little girl to give her mother a little break but Ed knew the real reason the little blonde was spending the night was his lover wanted to spend some time with her. Over the course of the night the pair had prattled on happily though in truth it made him feel a little like an outsider to their routine. It wasn't that neither of the pair didn't adore Ed but time spent between the two was something precious to them. Edward realized that so he kept quiet most of the night letting them be to their play. It didn't make the glimpses he got of two any less amusing or adorable. The night was winding down though and the older blonde found himself very anxious to have Roy all to himself but Elysia seemed just as eager to keep Mustang to herself.

"I'm not sleepy." The small fists rubbing at her eyes were a clear indication it was most certainly one little girl's bedtime but her will seemed to hold and pouting up at the dark haired man she waited for him to cave.

To the General's credit his decision didn't change. "It's late and you need to sleep. You are tired and I know it." Setting her down in the bed that she used whenever she slept over in the room right beside his he found little fists were holding tightly onto his shirt front. "Elysia.." The tone a little stern but still it appeared that Roy had not won the battle quite yet.

"Uncle don't go."

Sighing Roy removed the little hands himself and sat up on the bed with her. It was not long before the girl was tucked happily against his side.

"Tell me a story.." Waiting a moment not giving in to the other's demands just yet . "Please." Now he could.

"Alright..Just give me a minute to think of one." A hand moving up to smooth the head of pale blonde hair. It seemed to be enough for Elysia because she kept quiet and listened expectantly. Despite the older man's imagination and experience for the life of him he couldn't seem to think of a story. If he told her one of the standard ones she'd ask for another. That cleaned out just about everything that sprung up. Looked like he was going to have to wing it.

"Once upon a time there was a very sad man." A standard enough start. "He didn't laugh or smile. No one paid him any mind anymore because he was so cold and quiet. He did not speak to any of the townsfolk  
Every day went exactly the same for him. Each morning he would stare out into the open land around his home to watch the sunrise then go into town. No one had ever asked him why he was sad because he would always just glare at anyone who came too near to him. Hobbling around during the day with his cane with only a whack or two to anyone who got in his way."

Now he was running out of ideas again. That was until he heard a door open and close in the house somewhere. Honestly Roy had forgotten about Ed. The younger man had made himself scarce for most of the night. It was at the sound of the other's uneven steps coming up the stairs that gave him a sudden idea of where to go with his story.

Edward could hear Roy talking on his way up the steps but he'd trailed off and that made the blonde pause outside the door to the guest bedroom to see if anything was wrong. He didn't have to wait long for the General to speak up again. Sounded like he was telling her a story.

"The man wasn't old but he was not so young either and he lived all alone. No one thought he was lonely because no one knew the man didn't hate people. He was just angry and sad.

But one day while he was walking a young boy walked up to him. Normally it would have meant a quick crack of his cane but the man found something help up to his face before he could react. A few flowers that grew wild out in the fields around the village. Looking confused he went to push them out of his face.

'Here. There yours.' The young boy didn't seem at all afraid of being smacked by the cane and waiting for the flowers to be taken. Not sure what else to do the man took them. Still he didn't smile nor did he speak. Instead he started to go on his way again though his daily routine. So the sad man was very surprised to hear someone walking beside him.

'Why are you so sad' The boy asked walking along at the gimping man's side hands held behind his back in a childish manner. He only got a grunt in reply but went on walking with the man. Against the man didn't know what to do about the boy so he let him do as he pleased. When the man was done in town he went home boy still trotting along at his side quietly. Once at the door of his home the boy turned saying he had to go. The man said nothing and just went into his home."

Feeling a little curious and never having heard this story himself before Ed leant back against the wall crossing his arms over his chest listening as well. Not like he had anything better to do at the moment.

"This became a part of the man's routine. The boy would come up to him with something from more flowers to strange little stones or trinkets he found. Walking together quietly most of the time. The man got used to it. Every time the boy asked the same question. 'Why are you so sad?' He still had yet to answer him. But one day the man spoke up.

'Why d you walk with me?' The boy was a little surprised but looked very pleased to have finally made the man speak.

'I want to know why you are so sad.' It was still a shock to the man since no one had ever asked him before.

'Why do you bring me these little gifts as well?' Though his tone was just as gruff as when he's spoken the first time the boy's smile grew.

'Because I want to make you smile.' Was his answer."

Unbeknownst to the pair inside the room the Fullmetal alchemist flushed. It might just have been him but the boy sounded a bit like him. Ed had an old habit of bring Roy silly little things to show his affection for the older man. Flowers had been one of the first things he'd brought too. Not to mention he'd tried to pry into the reason for his superior's coldness for a long while before he'd finally gotten him to crack and fess up. Was the story supposed to be about them in a way?

" 'What reason do you have to want to make me smile boy?' Limping along as usual he just went on walking not sparing the other even a glance. That had never sent the boy off before and it did not do so now either.

'Because you are sad.' A simple child's answer each and every time.

With a shake of his head the man still kept at his questions hoping to find a reason for the boy to act as he did. 'Why do you walk with me?' Still not looking down.

'Because you're lonely and have no one else to walk with.' Proving just how bold and brave the young boy was he took a hold of the man's hand which wasn't clutching his cane. People watched the man and the boy since they had started to walk together finding it very strange such a cheerful, sweet boy would waste time on a bitter and sad man. Now they stared without a sound waiting to see what the man might do to the boy.

Looking as it someone had struck him with his own cane the man looked down at the boy then their hands. Not knowing what to do he just stood there in confusion. 'What cause do you have to care that I might be lonely?'

Just tilting his head to the side the boy replied. 'Because I'm lonely too. I have no family." The boy's smile faded for the first time since he walked with the man. Looking down to the ground, digging his toe into it he waited surprised only to feel a light tug at his hand.

'Come on." The man said starting to walk with the boy again, hand in hand. 'We're going home.' And so the man took the lonely boy home with him so they could be lonely together.

From that day on the sad man wasn't so sad and the lonely little boy wasn't so lonely." At the end of his story Roy looked down to find Elysia was already fast asleep. She likely had been for awhile now but he'd been so caught up in his own story he hadn't noticed. Tucking her in the general got to his feet to turn the lights off after. Giving Elysia a kiss on the forehead before he stepped out of the room he was surprised to see his younger lover leaning against the wall staring down at the floor in a manner that seemed incredibly thoughtful. Closing the door behind himself he smiled slightly.

"Ed?"

Looking up the blonde blinked at the old man and gave him an honest smile. "That was a pretty good story."

With a soft chuckle Roy put an arm around the teen's shoulders once he hefted himself off the wall. "Thank you but it's time for bed for you too." In reply the blonde boy only leant against the older man.

"Mmm but you're staying with me for the night."

"Wouldn't have it any other way." Roy replied as they walked into their bedroom.


	3. No

So yes I have no idea where this came from but eh I wrote it because it popped into my head. I am working on a sort of longer RoyKimbley thing. Going pretty well I have over five pages already. I know I am crazy.

My mistake before on my gaia name the whole actual thing it Hell.Fallen.Alchemist . If you want to look in my journal all of these are going to be in there so far. The only ones I might put up here will be the more graphic ones (as in the ones you won't almost be able to read in my journal). Feel free to give me some idea by PM on Gaia or by e-mail here. If you want to give me a picture and write something to it that's fine or just an idea. Anything really.

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3. No RoyScar**

"It must be done. It is the will of Ishbala."

"Damned be the will of God. You're no messenger you're nothing but a man who thinks his purpose is to spread propaganda. No different than my military. The labels have changed and the colors are altered but that's just the spin." Dark eyes were cold but the words he spoke were not in themselves unkind but a truth that was unshakable in his eyes. "Call it what you will but you are still a man whose hands are stained in blood. The blood of those who have no score with your to your people often enough. Either you and your 'God' have lousy aim or you take some pleasure in this revenge. Equivalency, conservation, preservation..they're not so different and none of them will ever be fair in the eyes of man kind because there is a objectivity to it that we could never hope to understand. Human and emotion are synonym. Don't hide behind an excuse. Come out and say it is you who will kill me by your will." Fingers rubbing together created a friction, sparks danced in the air before they faded and died only to be replaced by more.

The Ishbalian smirked head lowering slightly. "Well spoken Alchemist, Flame, but no matter what words you string together death is still death. Now pray if you will because faith or no you will be leaving this earth."

There was no need to shout. No need for an audience either.

In a way it was almost fitting the way it ended.

The heat burning at his very lungs, enough to sear the flesh and kill it. Holes literally burned in his trachea. Enough to kill him and that the blood from the wounds drowned him. The other was no unscathed though. Decomposition from the destructive hand, that according to the scarred man spread the will of his god, working through his chest. Lungs first and working in to his heart.

Both could taste blood and while they fell vermillion and ebony caught. A look of understand. A look of relief. In the last brief moment of life they both reached for something that would never touch. Each other. Some things were just never meant to be.

No words of thanks passed.

No promise.

No confession.

Just a glance that said everything.

Though when the bodied were found they assumed the extended arms were that way from death, not out of the last strength of life. No one would ever think there was some strange love that was less romantic and caring than it was just heartbreaking. Not between Colonel Roy Mustang the Flame Alchemist and the Alchemist killer dubbed Scar.

Not that anyone needed to know.

No.

No one knew but all the same the clouds cried.

With death comes peace and understanding, and even the pair hadn't realized they would find that in the other. Or in the life they would steal last.


	4. Investigation

**4. Investigation RoyEd**

Thumps and crashes were perfectly normal to be heard from the Flame Alchemist's office. Especially when Edward Elric was giving one of his reports to his superior, often less than willingly.

That was why no one paid any mind to the racket that the pair were kicking up in the room. Things were hitting the floor and some piece of furniture or two was being rattled. Hawkeye ,like the rest of Mustang's staff, passed it off as the air acting like the idiots they became when facing off. It happened often enough for anyone to do so. The yelling they heard was pretty regular as well so it was ignored. Hell the pair could go at it for hours in there. Once the Colonel had even lost his voice for two days after screaming at Edward about something.

This was all just a part of life in the military. Fights between Fullmetal and Flame were legendary and common knowledge after all. Even the mild tempered Alphonse Elric could ignore the fuss to offer a little help to the First Lieutenant to be polite while he waited for his older brother.

That was how Maes Hughes found the group of soldiers and suit of armor. Sorting through papers in a comfortable quiet only broken by a thump or a muffled yell from inside the Colonel's office. Peering through his glasses the Lieutenant Colonel looked at the office door with the dark letters of his best friends name and something came to him. Being in the Investigations Department this happened fairly often for the proud father. The voices coming out of the office were different somehow. A red flag went up in his brain and Hughes kept out of the office listening to his instincts. Once more they proved him well.

It was only another fifteen minutes before a very flustered Fullmetal stomped out of Mustang's office shouting the whole way that he was not small and for his brother to follow him. It make Havoc fairly sure that the some wasn't coming from the cigarettes he kept sneaking but was coming off the short blonde's head.

"Bastard Colonel..who does he think he is calling me smaller than a speck of dust that could get swept away when someone opens a window.." Irrational short rant and all something was still amiss in Maes's humble but often correct opinion. Ed could be heard stomping down the hall for some ways and Al's attempts to calm his quick tempered brother.

Now that the little red flag was gone Hughes went into the office to go and harass his best friend and partner in crime on more than one occasion. "Yo! What's up there Roy? Honestly you can't leave that kid be just once?" Roy was sitting at his desk and looked up at his friend the irritation in his face fading to a smile. A little too quickly actually..

It wasn't until Roy stood up to beckon the other over to take a seat that Maes Hughes realized just why that little red flag had gone off in his brain.

The Colonel knew that look and blinked at the other across his desk wondering what was going on. He could practically see the wheels turning in Maes' head. This wasn't looking good for him but all his buddy did was let out a laugh and drop a few photo's on his desk. No harassment at all which came as a considerable surprise.

Still standing there in shock Roy was watching Hughes head for the door. Glancing down he saw the expected pictures of Elysia. "Maes…?" The look of confusion on the Colonel's face was priceless but Hughes didn't need to take a picture to remember it.

Pausing the door the Lieutenant Colonel glanced back with a grin. "You look like you've had enough abuse for one day Roy. I'll see you later." Thinking that fate had spared him for once Roy Mustang was very tempted to get to his feet and do a victory dance. However his joy did not last.

"By the way Colonel..zip up your fly." Were Hughes' parting words.

The thuds that came from the Flame Alchemist's office were also normal. Roy's head meet desk.


	5. Five

**Five**

-Denial-

It was impossible. Incomprehensible. Down right nothing but a lie from a lips of people that were better off just being silent. That's what Roy Mustang persisted to tell himself. Any minute now someone would claim it was a farce. Yes soon someone would tell him it was just a joke.

Okay so maybe they'd keep the joke running a few days thinking they would get a reaction out of him. It wasn't going to work. Not at all.

After all who could believe that Edward Elric was gone.

-Anger-

After three days it started to finally sink into the Brigadier General's brain that it wasn't a joke. Havoc wasn't seeking a silent revenge on him for stealing his girlfriends. Breda wasn't being some pain in the ass for some reason or other. Riza wasn't trying to so him some humility.

Edward Elric was gone.

That single thought in itself set off a spark in him. A spark that caught into a hot white flame deep in his gut, or so it felt. There was just no way that selfish little bastard was gone. Doing the stupid thing in the end to play hero. What right did Edward had to give everything up thinking he had nothing let but his brother? If he were here he'd have beaten that boy to the floor. Made him know that he was just some stubborn ass to still think like that. Al was by blood all Ed might have but this military bunch were like a family. Dysfunctional but a family.

Hands clenching into fists he slammed them down hard enough onto the desk that a mix of numbness and sting moved up from his palms up to his elbows before fading somewhat only to come in another wave when they hit the hard, smooth surface once more. That wasn't enough for the fire in him to be satisfied. Papers were swept aside along with pens, the phone anything that he could see before him. Tearing apart anything he could lay his hands on, mind ignoring the destruction his gloves could cause thankfully.

When Riza looked into Mustang's office she was shocked at the display. Papers were scattered everywhere and fluttering around as he still batted at them, tossing them against the walls. The mess and the anger didn't surprise her so much. It was a stage of grief after all. It was the tears.

Roy was crying.

Even with his office a mess that angry heat in him didn't go away. Not yet.

-Bargaining-

It was a week before the wrath drained out of his very self. Havoc was sporting a black eye for trying to talk him down from a bout of his harsh words. Diatribe that he tossed at anyone who made even slight mistakes that were so human it hurt to see them. He was sitting at home when the spark went out and with it that fire that had been consuming his thoughts and making them spiral toward violence and rash action.

Sitting there alone in his home, head resting in his hands perched on the edge of his seat did he start to think.

Ed was gone. He had to get Ed back. It didn't matter the cost because he'd do it.

Yes. Anything.

Human transmutation was a taboo but since when did that bother him. With all the sin he'd committed in one lifetime what was one more on the pile? Couldn't this be one of those redeeming moments in his life?

It would be worth it.

Hefting himself up to his feet Roy went off to his desk to start looking for his old notes. He'd had old theories and they must life somewhere in his house. Was a matter of just finding them. He hadn't tried so hard after Maes' funeral because there was someone to blame then. Someone who had murdered the man. This time it was just Ed himself that had done the deed. Out of a need.

He'd give his soul for Ed.

He'd give his body for Ed.

He's give his mind for Ed.

Everything he had but would it be enough?

Roy hoped so as he settled in the desk chair starting to work at a way to bring back the dead for the first time since his guilt over Ishbal.

-Depression-

One missed day of work Hawkeye could understand if not appreciate with the mess that Roy had been stirring up as of late. Plenty of rough feelings between their commander and his subordinates for his grieving anger. Havoc's eye was nice and dark which meant it was healing thankfully. A break for them all was a good thing.

Two days she could accept because Roy might need a little space.

Day three she was starting to get annoyed since there wasn't even any word.

By the forth she showed up at his door. Banging away angry herself now. She still got no answer. That was why she didn't feel too bad when she broke into her superior officer's home. There was no sign of the dark haired man in his kitchen, nor any traces of coffee. Not normal. He wasn't outside either where he usually drank his morning coffee. No sounds of snoring so he was likely out of bed. His shower wasn't running either. What she did hear almost was enough to make her hair stand on end.

"Water thirty-five liters, Carbon twenty kilograms, Ammonia four liters.."

Most people wouldn't jump to such dark conclusion without any thread of proof but Hawkeye had known Roy for too long to think it was nothing. What she didn't know was what to do. So for now she left quietly praying that the man would come around on his own.

Roy did and then again he did not.

It was two months before Mustang started to function again. He came to work did what was expected of him but that was about it. No longer did he make jokes, bitter or otherwise. Quiet and meek in a manner something that was just not Roy Mustang. By the end of the second month he'd given up his rank to be nothing but a plain old enlisted man. Back to the bottom of the chain in military rank. Along with the demotion the man had made a request for reassignment in the mountains to the north. One of the sole posts up in the middle of no where miles from anyone else up against one of the borders.

Roy didn't even really say goodbye to anyone. Just left quietly like he just blew off in the breeze or happened to fade into the background.

The man stayed up there for almost two years. Alone on that mountain a shadow of who he had been.

-Acceptance-

The depression did lessen but never did quite leave at least not until Roy finally laid eyes on both Edward and Alphonse Elric. Something inside of him just slipped back into place. He was just himself again to an extent he hadn't in years.

The wave of acceptance didn't come until he sent Alphonse after his brother before he drifted too far away.

Edward and Alphonse were gone but he knew they were alright. That was why his grief was over.


	6. Cheats

"Brother where are you going?"

"Don't worry Al just going out for a walk." The smile Ed flashed to the suit of armor was a little too cheerful to be real.

While it wasn't a complete like he intended to walk to a certain bar. The same one he knew that the Colonel liked to frequent. The very same one he caught him in last week pulling some obviously drunk blonde into his lap, one that was most certainly not himself for that matter.

Roy was completely daft if he thought that Edward Elric would sit back for that kind of thing. Yes Mustang had another thing coming completely if he thought he was getting off on this one without any consequence.

Originally he'd thought to confront the bastard but he knew how that would end. The snake of a man would talk his way out of the trouble like he always did. Then he would try and make it up to him. So that option was immediately discarded.

Second he'd thought of just breaking the man's face. Bad plan, as he did still need the military funding for his work. So no physical assault was possible because the injuries would make it far too obvious who could and would beat the older man that badly. Thus another option was tossed aside soon after it was brought up.

That he did decide on wasn't too bad. What he was going to do just now.

Edward could understand that Roy would be frustrated with him gone so often and for so long. That however didn't give him the right to fuck around with anyone else. But that they seemed to disagree about, the tiny detail it was. He'd found the lipstick on shirt collars and disgusting, frilly things in Roy's bed and each and every time the Colonel denied it up and down. Reassuring Ed that he was 'the only one' for him. It was a complete line but it was what he'd wanted to hear so he'd believed it. Now the he was sick of ignoring it.

The bar was in sight now. It was a lower class joint but it was fun. Having been here himself a few times Ed knew they didn't tend to card and the booze wasn't badly priced. Sober and not focused on his company he could see the place was really rather trashy and filthy. An easy hunting ground no doubt. He went around though to the parking behind through one of the alleys. Hands in his pockets and red jacket left behind because it was far too telling of his identity. The usual braid forgone in favor of a ponytail instead because that was also too classic of the Fullmetal Alchemist. His watch was even back with Al.

Just walking out of the shadows, gold eyes were passing over the cars he could find. Smirking a bit to himself, so like a certain someone else, as he found the black vehicle he was looking for. Walking right for it he started to think about where to start not that it mattered because when he was done it was all going to look the same. Clenching his metal hand into a fist he brought it through the back passenger window with ease. It actually felt pretty damn good to do it too.

The process continued and they all broke easily under the force of the blonde's automail. No cracking just shattering on contact. Though the windshield he decided to break a bit differently. Getting up on the hood of the car he drove his left foot through the glass. Watching in satisfaction as it was crushed and shattered. Sending a spray of shards in on the dashboard and front seats.

"Thank you Winry.." He was laughing because all he could picture was the look on Mustang's face when he was done.

Hopping back down to the pavement he circled the car and kicked out the head and taillights as he went. Then a clap and the blade on his arm was out and his buried the tip into the tires and tugging to slash them beyond any repair other than by alchemy maybe.

"Whoops."

Nice deep gashed along the outside that went beyond a simple keying. Then one of the doors was opened and Ed just tore up the upholstery on the back seats. Moving back out to open one of the front doors to do the same to the rest. He was satisfied when there was hardly anything showing but the padding.

Standing back and looking at the damage so far he wasn't happy yet. With little other idea on his mind he just started to beat on the body of the car with his automail. The anger and force behind the blows was met with lovely crunch and grating noises. Even after that he felt something hadn't been done. And the perfect final touch came to him. Sadly he'd need some alchemy to help him this time. All the same it only took a minute and he was heading back up the alley. Ed had one more little delivery for the Colonel tonight.

Going right up to the door and in he ignored the bouncer at the door who smartly made no move to stop him. Might have been the feral little smile on his face but all he knew was he hadn't been stopped. Slipping through the bodies the catcalls were ignored as well at his appearance.

It took all of twenty seconds to spot the dark haired man in his chair with a wobbling and giggling blonde bimbo in his lap. She wasn't too pretty, but he face was caked with make up. And that kind of blonde came out of bleach. It was a merry old time for them right now. As he got closer though he noticed the difference in at least his commanding officer. The man's cobalt eyes were wide and he'd frozen as his tramp of the night was leaning her head down to nibble at his neck.

"Evening Colonel." His tone was almost friendly and the smile he flashed seemed to make Roy all the more tense. As it should. "Just had an important delivery for you. Sorry to interrupt." A gloved hand slipped into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. "Have a nice evening then Colonel." Waving over his shoulder as he went Edward Elric smirked to himself. To think this was when he finally got one better on the bastard.

With slightly shaking fingers Roy opened up the folded piece of paper he'd been handed. Ed had turned back just in time to see the man's face pale. Sadly he didn't have a camera on him. He also didn't stick around to see the rest. Al was waiting up after all.

That night Colonel Mustang got two very unpleasant gifts courteous Fullmetal.

The first Ed's transfer papers that had just been handed over.

The second came in the parking lot. His car was completely destroyed and for added insult it couldn't be moved immediately as it was resting on it's hood rather than it's wheels.

That was when Roy Mustang finally learned the lesson Ed had been trying to teach him.

No one gets one over on Edward Elric in the end.

* * *

**I just had to write it after I heard Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats". Not my best but the look I can see on Roy's face to have that happen is priceless. **


	7. The Course of a Day

**The Course of a Day**

One thing the military is about is routine. Rigid, set and repeated over the time a soldier serves. Routine that is so engrained that is something akin to instinct. Where motions are automatic. Roy Mustang was no exception to such things. He was a soldier after all.

At eight he would arrive in his office.

Promptly at eight-fifteen Hawkeye would bring in the first evil pile of overly wordy and entirely pointless paperwork.

By nine he would be making excuses to go and get coffee.

He'd be herded back to his desk by nine-ten and then a pen would be forced into his hand. An ominous click from Riza's gun would get him signing.

Paperwork until lunch at noon, and more paperwork after unless there were meetings. Though oddly Roy preferred to stare down the piles on his desk.

Everyday at six he would be allowed to leave. On occasion he did leave early but it wasn't as often as Hawkeye claimed. Though she did seem to have a weakness to his newly developed begging eyes.

However there was one part of his schedule that wasn't entirely routine, if that made any sense. By not it was unintentional, though at times he put conscious thought into it.

Over the course of the day Roy would find himself falling in love all over again. In love with none of that than Edward Elric, the shrimp, the Fullmetal Alchemist. There was no set time that it happened, but it did each and every day. Whether it was just when he was dragging himself out of bed in the morning and Ed would grumbled and latch onto his pillow instead while talking in his sleep, or at the end of the day when Ed would keep his hair down to sleep because he knew Roy liked it that way.

It was all those little things that did it he supposed. The way he knew that at the end of the day he had something he could live for even if everything else was going wrong, eve if Ed still liked to kick his shins when he made an innocent joke or two.

A knock on the door pulled him out of his musings, expecting to see Hawkeye coming to tell him to get to work he was surprised at what blonde was actually there.

"Come on old man. I'm stealing you for lunch. Oh and you're buying."

So maybe routines weren't so bad after all.


End file.
